Getting Honest with God
ENCOURAGE
Affirmation: I can be honest with God.
Anchor Scripture: Psalm 139:1-4
“O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.”
As humans, we have this tendency to hide, avoid, isolate, and deflect when we feel things like shame, weakness, stress, or discomfort. This type of behavior has been engrained in all of humanity since Adam and Eve, and can be traced back to the fall in Genesis 3. Once they ate the forbidden fruit, their eyes were opened and immediately shame came in and led them hid from God. Now while we may not be sewing fig leaves together like Adam and Eve, there are times where Believers may find themselves binding fig leaves over their hearts in their relationship with God.
Whether you are on fire for God, lukewarm, or ice cold, no one is exempt from the temptation to hide from God and shield our hearts so that no one can get in. Whether it be because of shame or a perverted reverence where you believe you cannot approach God in honesty, some people tend to mince their words with God and in doing that, they turn down the invitation for deep intimacy with Him. Today, I want to encourage you to be honest with God with where you are. Share the true meditations of your heart with Him and allow Him to carry things, heal things, and help you discern things. You know, sometimes we don’t even understand what we’re feeling or why, and we need God’s help to understand! Jeremiah 17:9-10 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.” When we share what’s on our hearts honestly before the Lord, He can show us the truth behind what we’re feeling and experiencing.
For me, there have been times where I had to go to God and say, “Lord, I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m tired. I don’t feel like praying. I don’t feel like fasting. I don’t feel like studying, but I know I need to and I know I need YOU. I need you desperately right now. I need your strength and I need your help to overcome these feelings so that I can do what I know you are calling me to do…” I was confused because I love Him; I love studying the word, I love spending time with Him, so to feel like I didn’t want to do any of that was disorienting. The enemy tried to project thoughts to me that I was backsliding or that I didn’t really love me how I said I did, but I stomped those lies out with the word of God. During this time, the Lord comforted me by reminding me that He is with me and understands everything I am suffering (Hebrews 4:15-16), and He also rebuked me for the whispers in my heart that said I didn’t “deserve” what I was going through. It was never about what I deserved or didn’t deserve, it was about the fact that I had to be reminded that the only person who did not deserve the suffering they endured was His Son, but He endured it anyways, for my sake and yours! He was teaching me to suffer well and cling to hope in Him through every circumstance. It was a test of my faith. I had to repent and build my faith and see that He was doing something in my heart and teaching me how to war in the spirit. None of that would have come if I hadn’t been honest with God.
When I’d be praying that way I would suddenly feel empowered by His presence to go deeper. Believe it or not, simply starting out by thanking Him for access then confessing my heart to God brought so much comfort and I felt His strength come to me. Scriptures came to my mind the more I prayed that encouraged me to take charge and stand in my authority to continue contending spiritually for the battle that was trying to wear me out. This experience reemphasized that this walk CANNOT be dictated by feelings, rather we must practice self-control which leads to discipline so that even in times where you don’t FEEL like showing up, YOU DO!
Honestly, when I first came to Christ I would never say things like that to God because of the shame and guilt I felt. I would just kept it to myself or try to force my feelings to change. But I realized that whatever I did not release to Him was held in the reservoir of my heart, and one day I’d overflow muddy, murky waters, instead of rivers of living water like He desires. I also learned from the life of people like Moses, David, and our Savior Jesus that being honest with God is essential to developing true intimacy, spiritual strength, and deep faith. When Jesus was praying in the garden, “Father not my will, but yours be done,” He was in complete agony and desperation. When He confessed his emotional and mental state, the Lord sent an angel to strengthen Him, and Jesus was empowered to pray more earnestly. What we learn from this is: It is in our honest, most vulnerable moments with God that we can gain spiritual strength, find comfort, and experience deeper intimacy with Him. So, like Jesus, I had to get honest with myself and with Him. In my pursuit of God, He’s kindly taught me that there are many times in this walk where we’re not going to feel like doing things, but we still have a duty and call to them for His greater purposes and our benefit. If you meet Him at the cross in prayer to crucify those feelings He will fill you with faith and power to do what pleases Him!
Maybe your case is a little different and that’s okay! The same principle still applies:
Maybe you keep tending to a habit or relationship you know is separating you from Him. Tell Him, and ask Him to help you hate what He hates and love what He loves.
Maybe you don’t feel like forgiving that person who hurt and offended you. Tell Him, and ask Him to help you heal and extend the same mercy and forgiveness He pardoned you with.
Maybe you’ve been begging Him for answers and direction, but still feel unclear. Tell Him, and continue watching and waiting. It is in the wilderness and the waiting where He builds your faith and sensitivity to His voice the most.
Maybe you’re straddling the fence on what you believe. Tell Him, and ask Him to help your unbelief.
Maybe you feel like you’ve been doing everything possible (fasting, praying, reading the word, applying wisdom, seeking deliverance, etc) to see breakthrough and you’re still coming up against the same giants. Tell Him, and ask Him to give you the patience and endurance to continue going through this process. Sometimes breakthrough comes in layers. He is Your Deliverer, not you. Perhaps stop doing things in your own strength and might and let Him work through you.
No matter where you are in your walk, be honest with Him. As the saying goes, “honesty is the best policy.” The Bible says He knows what we need before we ask Him (Matthew 6:8), but He still wants us to ask. He knows what lies in our hearts (Psalm 44:20-21, Romans 8:27), but He still wants us to open up honest, vulnerable conversation with Him. You see, God is a gentleman. He is not going to force His way into your heart, He waits for your permission. Give Him permission to enter in, to carry your burdens, and to flood your heart with truth, peace, understanding, and His love.
The best gift you can give to God is your heart. He doesn’t want it covered in fig leaves. He doesn’t want it dressed up nice on the outside but cluttered with untold burdens and weights on the inside. He wants truth, He wants the real thing, and in exchange, He wants to give you a heart like His. Today, open your heart to Him and watch how He works in you and your life!
EQUIP
Meditation Scriptures:
Psalm 139:1-4
Romans 8:26-27
Jeremiah 17:9-10
Luke 22:39-44
BUILD
Reflect: Identity an area where you’ve had fig leaves over your heart with God. Invite Him into that space through prayer and take a few minutes to sit in His presence and allow Him to deal with your heart.
Here’s some instrumental music if you would like to set an atmosphere: A Moment of Intimacy with God.
